Darn it! If only I had not hesitated.
Should I have given the $5 bill I had to the homeless person on the sidewalk?
“No, suppose he was a con job?” I said to myself and walked on. Wait, who was I to judge? I turned back… but he was already gone. I thought about it the rest of the day. Had I missed an opportunity to make a difference? Maybe.
Life is a con if you let it be. Second chances are hard to come by, and not always available when you want them. Can you take back something you said that was hurtful by trying to explain yourself out of it?
Asking for forgiveness takes humility and courage and sincerity. “If only I hadn’t done it to her…” The second guess does not necessarily create a second chance.
It has taken me a whole lifetime to find moral certainty and clarity. I can’t go back. One can only go forward and care for others more often, if not all the time.
Today at the grocery store I had the lady take my two bags to the car just outside. I knew she got paid little and had to wear a “No Tips” tag. Sure I could have done it myself, but I could create an opportunity to do more. I used to tip a few dollars, but it never felt quite right.
Second guessing, I moved up to a $5 bill and faces would light up. I would say “God Bless You” and it was quickly returned. Nice. Happens a lot. Opens real people up.
So anyway… I was leaving town for a while and wouldn’t have another chance. No time to gamble with second guessing myself. I gave her a $10 bill. She started to cry. She must have been 60 and lived a rough life from the lines on her face. She said she had 5 aneurysms and might be dying. We prayed. All in the Publix parking lot. Who was to know?
Have to think hard about second guessing myself.
Second chances are hard to come by.